My specific problem is that Foul is a coke-head alcoholic misogynist jerk, among many other things, who is extremely obnoxious and in general a cause of much grief. I loath to call anyone a typical anything, but he is the typical Wall Street jackass that he tries to be.

He is also friends with my roomate -- they went to college together -- and will show up at alot of parties we go to or if we take a road trip. Anyway, we are planning to go to an Allman Bros. concert in a few weeks and then camp for a couple of days afterword, and now Foul has announced his intention to join us. I doubt that he has ever been camping before and that he will be able to understand the etiquite surrounding a campsite (i.e. quiet, respect, cleanliness, etc.) The rest of my friends are good about this, but can get all drunk and roudy too, especially when egged on. I've tried, even somewhat forcefully, to tell him to be respectful before, but it is hard to be too insistent without offending my roomate.

My question, what can I do in this situation? My roomate is a definitely aware of the situation but says things like -- "he's a nice guy", or "oh, he's just wasted" but screw that, man, I say you are what you do when you do it all time!

Help me, old hippy!

Also, is it wrong to work in the pornography industry in your opinion?

Sounds like you have a problem. I emphasize the word YOU. You are experiencing a phase we all go through. Technically it's called cognitive dissonance. That's when what you experience is different from that of those you respect (i.e. your roomate). The resolution to this is either to alter your perceptions to match those of your roomate or come to the realization that your roomate and you are no longer on the same wavelength.

Now you're probably wondering what has all this got to do with Mr. Foul. Well he is just the catalyst for change. He is the cause of the cognitive dissonance that exists between you and your roomate. The solution to your problem is for you to change. Actually you've already changed that's why you can't relate to Mr. Foul. You just need to realize what this implies. First, you have become more sensitive (or perhaps you always were, but Mr. Foul makes it obvious). Second, you and your roomate have different tastes in friends (and there's nothing wrong with that). Third, your tolerance is being put to the test. Since Mr. Foul seems to influence your friends in ways you don't like, you must now decide whether your friends are really who you think they are. This is another stage of cognitive dissonance. The solution to this stage is to reevaluate your relationship with your friends and how that bears upon your own identity.

What this all means is that you have to take a good look at yourself, your goals, what turns you on and off, and whether you are living a lifestyle (including friends) that's complementary with your self image. Something has to give in this situation. If you can't change yourself to accept these friends and their ways, then perhaps it's time to find some new friends and new ways. At age 23, it's a good time to leave the high school or college buddies and find people of your ilk. They're out there. If I were you, I'd do the concert and skip the campout, making sure your roomate knows your reasons (and giving him a taste of cognitive dissonance!). Good Luck!

As far as the porno industry goes, it would depend upon just what is being done. Porno has been with us for millenia and it's not going away as long as sex is around. Porno acts as a release valve for those millions who need it. Certain kinds of porno that exploit people (especially children) against their will is not cool. Otherwise to each his own.

- The Old Hippy